Quantcast
Channel: shanjeniah » parenting challenges. peaceful parenting
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 2

J is for Jeremiah

0
0

More than 500 Words On……Jeremiah, and relating!

At about 10 months old old, in love with the vacuum!

Sometimes, it can be hard to describe Jeremiah in terms that shows others the deepest and most fascinating parts of him. He’s a lot like Jim that way. His depths lie tucked away beneath a smooth surface, and, if you aren’t among the trusted few, they hardly seem to ripple.

I am thrilled to be a person my son trusts, as he gathers himself, in earnest, for the coming journey from boyhood to young manhood.

Age 3; first of many visits to Liberty Ridge Farm, in nearby Schagticoke, NY.

I didn’t start off as well as I might, if I were becoming his mother, and he my son, today. I made some mistakes, and I did things that wounded his spirit, in the way I was wounded by my own childhood. My wounds bled into his, as so often happens in families of abuse.

I was never comfortable with this – perhaps, no parent who enacts and inflicts their own brokenness on their child is. Perhaps they all look for ways to change the dynamic to something healthier and more gratifying, and only haven’t encountered it yet.

Or maybe not.

I love this.....age 4, I think, and in his favorite sweatshirt. =)

At any rate, when Miah was 7, the same age Annalise is now, I had learned enough to start making better choices in how I interacted with him, how I handled things like “disobedience” (in quotes because it is no longer a part of our reality)  children, in general, act in accordance with the degree to which their needs are met. Not necessarily the needs parents think they have, though – the respond in accordance with their own specific and unique personal needs; in other words, not just for food, sleep, and shelter, but for other things too.

Things like being taken seriously, being respected, being treated with kindness,  feeling safe – physically, mentally, and emotionally – , having freedom to live their own lives to the fullest possible degree, and knowing that the integrity of their beings is honored.

Jeremiah the Absolutely Awesome Big Brother

I am glad I began to change when I did. It’s been nearly four years since I began the transition.

At 7, Jeremiah deepened, and I was able to regain most of the trust I had squandered in those days that I valued the societal idea of being a “good mother” more than I valued being the mother Jeremiah needed me to be.

If I hadn’t, I think he would have simply slipped into himself, and I would not know this amazing person, who, at 9, spent 5 months saving for his own 3DS, although we would have bought him one.   Saving included getting up early several times to go work odd jobs for his grandfather.  He packed his own lunch,  made his own arrangements, and took the responsibility very seriously.  He chose not to spend money on several other things, in order to but it on his tenth birthday, although Jim and I told him we would buy it at Christmas.  He did his own research, and purchased it with his own money – an awesome feat! =)

Under the waterfall, age 6, Paint Mines Trail, Thacher State Park. First time I' saw the big boy he's become inside him.

He is interested in morals, ethics and laws. He has a keen sense of justice. He is planning his adolescence and early adulthood with an obvious grasp of what is involved – he thinks about saving for a car, what job he would like and how much he wants to make, getting his license, when he thinks he might like to get married, buy a house, and have children.

I wouldn’t have wandering late-night talks where it’s hard to remember he’s not yet 11. He seems wiser, and more thoughtful, than he is during the busyness of his days spent exploring various games and media, playing inside and out, building and planning and figuring out how things work.

I would not have his snuggles, that beautiful light in his eyes, and a welcome into those fascinating depths within him .

Warrior With a Self Made Boffer and His Cell Phone; Unschoolers Rock the Campground II, Plymouth, MA, age almost 9.



Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 2

Latest Images

Trending Articles





Latest Images